First, let me begin by saying sorry for not posting in ages! I've just been unmotivated to blog lately, possibly because nothing blog worthy is going on in my life right now...
But, for the last little while Ive really been thinking about my life and what I want from it. And thinking that 10 years from now will I be happy with the decisions Ive made? And I can honestly say, although my life isn't necessarily where I thought it would be right now, that I have absolutely NO regrets. While I do wish certain things were different I know that its all part of a greater plan, a plan that Im not privy to seeing just yet, and I do trust that it will all work out the way its supposed to be. But that doesn't mean I don't wonder if Im currently making the right choices. If Im helping my life along the path I want it to go.
I think all through school, up until college, I had this idea that by the time I was 21 I'd have a job, possibly a husband/family, all of it. Which is silly, but considering the amount of people in my graduating class that ARE indeed married maybe its not so silly? Side note; I feel extremely behind compared to them. But ya know, I thought by 21 Id have it all together and know what I want and where my life is going and all that grand stuff. But my 21st birthday is fast approaching, summer will be over before I know it and I don't have any of that worked out yet. Which was/is slightly unnerving to me. I am a planner. And the fact that none of these plans I had are actually working out is terrifying. I am the type of person to plan weeks, if not months, in advance, and if something unexpected or last minute came up I would avoid it if at all possible. Which Im starting to realize is crazy. Which is maybe part of my greater plan, the plan I don't really know the details of. Because now that my initial plan isn't working out, Im learning that maybe I don't need one at all.
I am learning to be spontaneous. I think its driving my family, especially my mother, nuts. But Im loving it. I used to be a stickler for time, and not that Im late now, but Im not early for things really. Which most of you who are reading are probably thinking umm ok? BUT I use to get incredibly anxious if I wasnt early, really early, for anything. So the fact that I can be on time, is huge for me. Im learning to really love each day, that if whatever I had planned doesn't work out its ok, its not a big deal. And I am learning that sometimes, the things you don't plan for are the most rewarding. Im learning that I am SO much more capable than I thought I was, heck, I donated blood a few weeks ago, ME, me who is TERRIFIED of needles, who the last time I had blood drawn had to have my dad with me because I was so scared, I donated blood. And yes, it was scary, BUT it was awesome. Not only because I saved up to three lives ;) but because I challenged myself and I did it. And Im doing it again in August, (if anybody wants to join me Id love that, its not as bad as youre thinking!)
I feel like Im rambling haha....even though my life right now isn't what I had planned, and it took me a long time to accept that my plans failed, I love my life. I love every bit of it, I love ENJOYING it. And as for the future, I don't have plans. I have goals of course, but no plans. Well thats a lie, I have a couple "plans"
1. ENJOY life, every moment of it because it is truly precious and you never know how long you will get to enjoy it for.
2. NO regrets, absolutely none.
Those are my plans, my only plans, because I know that somebody else has a plan especially for me, and if Im willing to listen and follow, I will have exactly what Im meant to have, when Im meant to have it.
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